The Exigent Duality
Corruption, the State, and Derealization - 14:42 CDT, 6/04/21 (Sniper)
Here is an assortment of topics for your reading enjoyment.

WuFlu-Related Corruption

Yet another Tucker Carlson monologue worth a listen. Gee, you don't think this exact same scenario has been playing out with the so-called "anthropogenic climate change" scene as well, do you?

Skeptics of the skeptics often use the non-argument "but how could all of these people have been in on it, and not said anything?" Easy: the same way they all went around wearing WuFlu Burqas for a year, in spite of the fact a huge percentage of them were non-believers of the Branch Covidian faith; the same way people like me keep their mouths shut at work while Woketopia takes over; the same reason even privately ardent opponents of the Kim regime snitch on their other twenty four million neighbors in North Korea; and on and on.

It's called "fear". It's called "groupthink". It's called "conflicts of interest". It's pretty easy to put in place if the conditions are right and people have been properly prepared.

My favorite part of this was how the guys who created the letter discussed in the monologue went on to repeatedly reference what was behind-the-scenes their own letter as proof in support of their position. It reminds me of this Google-related confirmation bias post I wrote a few years ago.

Incidentally, it's interesting reading that post again, because my prediction came absolutely true to such a degree that its "spill-over" effect has even impacted DuckDuckGo, which is totally unreliable today as it farms results from other search engines. Gab is essentially my search engine today: it's the only way I can find "verboten" information.

Gab is incredible, by the by: I will post an opinion which has gotten me mocked, called names, and ridiculed-- even silly little things like "I like Phantasy Star III more than IV", believe it or not-- and the first responses I get on Gab are, "Yeah, me too!" I've never been surrounded by such like-minded people, in every way, as on that site, to the point where I'd never had many of my own tastes mirrored back to me ever, in my entire life, until subscribing there.

But back to the topic: people often ask "what is the 'deep state'?" It's people mentioned in this Tucker monologue, and thousands of more like them all over the place: Statists who mistakenly charted a State due to what Thomas Sowell called the "unconstrained vision", thinking it would represent the interests of them-- instead, cronies instantly take over this foolishly-granted monopoly on force, and use it to further their self-interests. That's the "deep state".

Evil Corporations

Take a listen to this video, and tell me corporations aren't evil. I've noticed over the months that Vee has come off of his "multi-billion dollar unaccountable corporations" line, probably because people like me were criticizing him for it in the comments-- but he was right, I deserve a big plate of crow. I'm after the truth, not pride: the Bernie Bros. can watch me eat it for all I care.

I recently wrote a post about how, in a way of thinking, labor unions "plug a loophole" in the corporation model, and I think that now more than ever.

"Corporations" are play-pretend, government-created entities where the State apparatus grants them collective liability-- i.e. "limited liability". But the profits are not collectively distributed: they go to the top, and are doled out in the form of salaries by the internal oligarch "executives". Further, employees have virtually no say in how the company is run: they are ordered what to do in top-down hierarchical fashion, like a military.

In other words, the internal oligarchs at corporations reap the private profits, but collectivize the risk. Sound familiar?

I would be one hundred percent ok with the State, tomorrow, enacting a law forcing all corporations to submit to immediate labor unions within their organizations: after all, the corporations are already "fake" State-created phenomena, why not just go all the way and stop them from having their cake and eating it too?

Of course, what would happen is that the unions would destroy the corporations by hamstringing those company's abilities to control their cost structures-- and over time, all of the corporations would go bankrupt. From there, all of the businesses would become private, which means smaller and more distributed: both profits and risk would be private.

Naturally, none of this would ever happen because the CEOs and politicians are all in it together: that's what Fascism as an economic system is, and that's what we have. Almost no one will bite the hand which feeds them.


Is it bad that I took the "Maslach Burnout Inventory" and got the following one hundred percent honest scores?

  • Section A: 37
  • Section B: 29
  • Section C: 22

These numbers are off-the-charts apparently: for reference, the cut-off for "high-level burnout" in the sections, in order, are "30 and up", "12 and up", and "33 or less". There's essentially not a day which goes by, during which I don't wonder if I'm going to outright collapse in some way.

My workplace has these huge glass walls and rows of glass-windowed offices down a long hallway, near some escalators: I used to fantasize about taking a baseball bat or an axe, running down the line, and watching the glass cascade down in sheets. Of course, I never got close to doing it, but I often wondered if I'd get bad enough where I would-- and that was more than five years ago, way back before I'd started working from home!

What finally prompted me to get the "work from home arrangement" from HR was that I was derealized to the point that on a daily basis weird visual phenomena were frequently occurring-- veritably like stress-induced hallucinations: as an example, in a "one-on-one" meeting with my manager at the time, her head looked huge, like some sort of gigantic, crude, misshapen, freckled, moon-shaped flesh balloon! Needless to say, I wasn't comprehending a word she was saying, and almost broke out laughing in the middle of the "conversation" due to how bizarre her appearance was!

One time the derealization randomly went away in the middle of a meeting: for the first time in at-the-time nearly ten years-- much longer than that now-- I felt normal, for about two seconds: I could feel the warmth from the window, the smells in the conference room, actual emotions-- and I came within inches of screaming in terror, at which point the blanket went over me again. I'm not sure which set of triggers caused that to happen, because I'd love to try to reproduce the effect to see if I can get a larger window of insight-- not to mention how relieving it felt, even if it was scary too.

I think this all stems from undiagnosed Asperger's, which has led me into untenable career choices and social situations. No one ever sees it because I'm so good at faking it, in the interest of being the tireless little soldier who doesn't complain. For example, I was clinically (mis)diagnosed with "Generalized Anxiety Disorder"-- because I don't stim or exhibit many outward facing characteristics. "GAD" as a diagnosis means "we don't know what the hell is wrong with you."

Some day things will go sideways enough that it forces a change-- until then, I'll keep on with the six figure income and horde as much cash, crypto, precious metals, ammo, and other durable goods as possible.

I thought I would get emotional or nostalgic when stepping out of my Murderapolis house for probably the last time ever, after having lived there for over fifteen years-- but I felt nothing, despite having raised my two kids from birth there: no nostalgia, no sense of anything left behind, no positive memories-- it was like walking out of a gas station. I shrugged, sat down in my car, and drove away.

There is another round of layoffs happening at my company, this month. I really wish they would let us volunteer for those. I hope I get cut, but I have such good performance reviews-- top three-or-so percent of the entire enterprise last fiscal year-- that I don't think it will happen.

Add on the stress of the addition project and moving, and that's why I haven't been recording videos. I'll get back to it in the coming weeks.