I had an extraordinary thing happen during confession a couple of hours ago.

Last night, our Pastoral Council group was asked for volunteers, from our council, to wash feet during Holy Thursday, symbolically right after Father and the other priests present would begin that portion of the Mass. I was extremely reticent and mostly avoided making eye contact with the chairman as he was soliciting for the help.

This had been weighing very heavy on my heart all day, but I made no mention of it to anyone other than Jesus.

During confession today then, I opened my heart to the confessor, explaining in very high level terms-- not mentioning the feet washing, Holy Thursday, or any specifics at all-- how much I'm struggling with anxiety, and how I've wished and prayed for sometimes even preposterous circumstances to spare me from having to do the various things of which the Lord is asking me. In other words, I've been disobedient to His will.

To my complete and utter astonishment the priest said, "For your penance, I want you to be as involved as possible during the Holy Week liturgies." Stunned, I left the confessional, drove home, and emailed the chairman to tell him I'd do it.

The other thing my confessor said was that to get over my anxieties, I needed to say to myself "To heck with my role in all of this, it's not about me it's about the needs of others, and I can't do a single thing without the Lord anyway." I had been wondering for some time if, deep down, my anxiety was borne out of pride, ego, and arrogance which is why I was and am so afraid of making mistakes. The priest confirmed this suspicion of mine.