They are looking for volunteers to perform the various Mass-related roles at my church. I had been praying to God to give me a sign. Today, no one stepped up to do the first reading-- very bizarre, unprecedented even for someone to have dropped the ball like that. Our priest: "We need a Lector... anyone out there want to do the readings?" God held everyone quiet, even those who often do the readings on other days. "Whelp", I thought to myself, "sometimes God acts in not so subtle ways too". I walked up there, and faked it until I made it.

And it went fine! I read clearly, didn't stumble on any words, walked back at the correct moment, returned to do the petitions at the proper time, and so forth. I have good inflections and a solid reading voice, so it came naturally to me. The only mistake I made was going just a bit faster as I went: purely an outcome of being so nervous at the unexpectedness of it all. I think it was in fact me getting more comfortable, so I stopped concentrating on the pace as much.

I might take this as an opportunity to volunteer for the Sacristan work as well. I'm "Mr. Checklist" anyway, so I'd be very thorough.

The only other notable thing was, sometimes people stumble when reading the final petition, where the recently deceased are honored. As I got to that bullet, I realized that the text said "For ___..." That's right: "For underscore". What the heck am I supposed to say?! So I made something plausible up without missing a beat, I think I went with "For all of God's children". As I walked back, I realized the proper thing was "For the recently departed". But now I know why people sometimes fumble there.

It's like a time when I called into the Peter Schiff show something like a decade ago. I had always laughed at his callers: "Hello? Can you hear me? Hello?" Then when it was my turn, I realized that there was insane latency, which is why Peter and the guests always talked over each other awkwardly, as I had just done as well.