When I first saw this story, I thought it was a piece of satire-- a quick follow-up search revealed that it's apparently true, as it's being picked up absolutely everywhere! People are so insane today that it's almost impossible to tell parody from the real thing. Bold emphasis is mine:



"Oh my gaaaawd, it might get on my turtleneck, someone please help me, help me!" But hey, I'll never have to worry about people like this infesting my farm house up North: there are mice, deer, and even asian beetles in the vicinity!

Remember: these are the same people who want to take away your cars, your guns, and make it illegal for you to eat meat.