What a great idea! In fact, it doesn't go far enough!
Why should governments stop at doling out free internet access to everyone-- why not free cable television too? It's tough to feel a sense of cultural belonging when you've missed the latest episode of "Empire"! Let's not create a society of haves and have-nots, I say!
Governments should not only and absolutely guarantee that every single server on the internet stays up all of the time, but why not even open up "web admin gulags" for the ones whose servers go dark? It would add a whole new meaning to the expression "downtime", catch my drift?
As for you private companies, not only must you make sure that every single person's Comcast bill is as affordable as a McDouble from Mac 'n' D's, but you need to provide premium PornHub subscriptions too: how is the web supposed to be a place free from fear if Joe can't even watch the latest BBW DP vids while bottling down some opioids, to generate those positive feelies?!
And every single person needs to feel safe and welcome online-- duh! How is one person supposed to know what makes a given random, anonymous stranger feel unsafe, you ask? Don't worry, we've got you covered: Mark Zuckerberg is personally collaborating with Snopes and the New York Times to replace all online mentions of "Donald Trump" with "Ronald Pump", and "snowflake" with "pancake".
So don't forget to fight for an open web, by voting for politicians who will regulate the living hell out of it, every chance you get baby! Just email your friendly local DNC operative to get a Michelle Obama-approved list of endorsed candidates!
And if you don't find us credible, make sure to check out our seemingly bottomless list of supporters! While you may be correct in noticing that ninety five percent of these sponsors are either politicians or tax siphoning not-for-profits, we do have the twin private sector benevolences Google and Microsoft onboard, neither of which have any conflict of interest whatsoever in supporting this-- it's all about the fuzzies (literally and figuratively!).