Genre: Space Sim
Developer: PlatinumGames
Publisher: Nintendo

The "CGI film in real-time" look of games like Super Mario 3d World and Mario Kart 8, or even the "full of style if not a bit too aliased" appearance of Splatoon, make way here for what looks essentially like a Gamecube game, in 16:9. The way-too-talkative muppets are very sharp, and the color themes used in the various stages are harmonious enough, but the title just doesn't have anything that makes it stand out in any way. It's a fairly mundane effort on a platform that happens to have many beautiful games.

All arcadey space sims have wingman chatter, but not ones that are in essence continually telling you which buttons to press-- as if this game weren't hectic enough! The voice acting is reasonable, but the music is a bit of a let-down, in that it's terribly generic. Like its visuals, Star Fox Zero is inoffensive, but also unassuming.

Where Star Fox Zero does become offensive is with its vehicle controls and level design. The game's gyroscope aiming works fine, but the vehicles themselves-- each of which confusingly has a different control scheme-- are clunky, and don't feel nimble enough to even dodge enemy fire, unearthing memories of the dismal PC Engine schmup "Deep Blue". The on-rail levels don't do a good job of intuiting their paths to the player, while the free roaming stages see the player often bouncing off of invisible region walls and constantly employing gimmicky "press a button to do a canned aerobatic maneuver", such as a somersault.

Star Fox Zero can't decide what it wants to be, and winds up being terrible at everything. The open stages are frustratingly limiting compared to, let's say, the Wing Commander games, which actually have some notable simulation aspects and involving military-style campaigns; the Panzer Dragoon games are much more intuitive and enjoyable rails shooters; and at its very, very worst, Zero even attempts to mimic the dreadful mid-90s FMV game, Rebel Assault, with comically bad QTE-like prompts ("nose up! nose down! nose up!"). The only parts of this game that might actually be fun-- the exploration-oriented stages-- are poorly paced and positively plodding.