Format: Advance
Genre: 2d platformer
Developer: Krisalis
Publisher: Telegames

This review should've honestly been done weeks ago but I've been pretty distracted lately and soccer kid isn't the best game in the world. To start off, this game has multiple issues, most of which come from a design standpoint. It aimed to be a platformer, but has a semi-zoomed in scope much like donkey kong country or sonic. This means you can't see what's coming ahead of you and have to constantly "stop" and "edge" your way through each level. This game suffers from 2 additional issues stemming from this same problem... respawning enemies and bad hitboxes. Furthermore, this game has another unique interesting problem. As a platformer, one of the things you should want most is control in midair, but for some reason, this game has a knack for trying to move the player character OUT of the way of objects you attempt to jump on. I'm not quite sure why it does this, but it makes any tight platforming an absolute terror, even some of the basic platforming as well. I still don't understand the story of this game, but you're basically "soccer kid", an angsty angry little petulant brat who runs around the world kicking soccer balls at everyone. You kick balls at londonites, italianites, moscowites, japanites, and yorkanites. Most stages are left to right and consist of floating hamburgers, hot dogs, icecream, and birds. Let me tell you something about these birds, @#$% these birds. These damn birds were the #1 source of all my cheap hits and most health lost throughout the entire game. All they do is go back and forth right over the areas you want to get to, every time. Your only way to get rid of them is your trusty soccer ball. The soccerball itself has some weird mechanics of its own and you can easily lose it. Hold A to re-summon your soccer ball. You can hit it in a couple of ways with various button combinations, but some are actually timed actions, like the backflip kick. There are many dangers in this platformer from death pits to spikes to guard dogs to coconuts. The goal is to get to the end of each level, but there's a sub goal of collecting tickets or balls or something. 3 lives, 3 continues, alongside a password system. Here's the catch, the password system does the really bad thing that password systems should NEVER do. It remembers your exact continue and life counter. So you could end up easily like me, on the last level, with 1 life. Only 5 "worlds" and about 3 levels each, not so bad just not a game for people with stress issues.

It's a weird concept of a game, but ultimately feels like something you'd get out of a cereal box.

All in All, I was considering giving this game a 4 but decided it deserved a 4.5 instead due to the fact that some of the level design actually felt like a platformer. This game has quite a lot of shortcomings, and unfortunately there are just too many to list here. Password system, Enemy spam, Limited view, Offscreen respawns, Bad hitbox detections, Missing platforms, Missing plot, Funky controls... just too many.