Format: Advance
Genre: Shooter
Developer: Raylight Studios
Publisher: Destination Software

Never before have I had a shitlist for games. I now have a shitlist for games. R-Type is an interesting and possibly fun series on the snes and other systems. Unfortunately this port is plagued by the exact same issues that crippled Contra Advance. The true unfortunate part of this port however is that unlike Contra, more than half the levels are completely dominated by the size proportions issue. R-Type is a Shmup (shootem up) like Gradius or Darius Twin. This game originally came out on the snes and this is the GBA port. Surprisingly the sound works pretty well and the graphics hold up decent enough. HOWEVER, due to porting to the GBA, size proportions of the game were modified and they make the game strategically harder by default. Not only that, but this game is fairly notorious as well for being difficult from the get go. For starters, you're given 3 choices of FORCE powers at the start to pick from. This choice will stay with you the entire game. I went with Cyclone Force myself because it had a wide area coverage. To sum up FORCE powers real quick, get a powerup, you get your "force" and then you can launch it back or forward with the L button. It connects to both sides of your ship for upgraded fire patterns as well. It's a neat idea, but holy donkey shitting hell did they take liberties with it. Both the level 3 and level 5 bosses are unkillable without the Force power. In addition level 4 is literally hell. not figuratively, it's the slow mind destroying hell that is fuckyouoclock. For starters, You NEED to complete and keep all your powerups for most of the levels in this game. Level 4 is especially heinous because it has blinking beams of water streams, triple-shot projectile enemy turrets, closing walls, a spinning wheel of death, and a fricken maze. After you get through all that you fight what you think is the boss, but nope, just a mid-boss! Guess what, guess what, you get to do the maze AGAIN! only in REVERSE this time! Oh, don't worry, it's restocked with enemies and the water of death is back! I died so many fuggin times in this level that it took me 9 hours to get past it. 9 FUGGIN HOURS!! In 9 hours I could fully beat a Touhou game, but no, R-type wants to stick a banana on the condom that is the giant waterfall of asshole as it's taking you for a joyride. Getting past this colossal bullshit of Beethoven's 9th symphony of hell, you still have level 5 and 6. Now these levels aren't bad, but OH MY FRIGGING GOD THESE BOSSES. The levels are slow, REALLL SLOW, I could bake a friggin cake while playing them, then the bosses, Mr. Bullshit Hitbox Demon Heart and the level 6 boss Jazz Hands up your ass Mc.Gee. These bosses are literally spitefully made creations from the deepest realms of Gigyas' rectal cavity. The demon heart, your goal is mostly to hit an Eyeball like thing in the middle, which has full cover. That means you're going to have to charge up to hit it or hope you have a shield to ping it to death, all the while this snake-like thing trolls around the screen trying to shoot blinking red basketballs at you. The final boss is just a middle finger. If you don't have full powerups, hahaha, good luck you're a bout to die. Even if you do have full powerups, trying to figure out what he's going to do next is just another middle finger. Blow him up, his hands pop off, and BAM MIDDLE FINGER UP YOUR ASS GIVING YOU THE SHOCKER! Time to replay the level again for another 7 minutes 22 seconds. Oh, but don't worry, once you get past the hands, it's the "final final" part where oh, he's changed styles completely and is doing touhou shit... greaaatttttttt. It took me way more attempts than I care to admit to have recognized the style change. Finish the game and BAM you're done, credits, no story, no explanation, nothing! The title screen boss isn't even the final boss, it's just a damn mid boss from level 5!!!!! This game has great graphics and sound but absolute shit design. It's a shmup btw, normally stands for shootem up, but in this case, it's a shitem up.

All in All, This hellish game deserves a 3.0 for it's heinous design. Ridiculously bad square(?) hitboxes. Slow level progression. Bad respawn points. Bad powerup options. BAD GLITCHES. Bad requirements to beat bad design.