"Go ahead, squeeze it, unfortunately you won't break it. All you'll do is continuously and inadvertently run programs, which will leave you reaching for the nearest sledge hammer so you can break it!
It sure does have a nice case, like the thousands of other identical looking phones out there! It also has a giant screen and camera-- very original! It's water resistant, so even tossing it in the lake in frustration won't be enough to kill it!
Another great feature is that it can record your finger print and all of your behavior, which aren't terrifyingly or absolutely terrible ideas at all! Look for this worse-than-ever, old-is-the-new-new iPhone clone in May!"
It sure does have a nice case, like the thousands of other identical looking phones out there! It also has a giant screen and camera-- very original! It's water resistant, so even tossing it in the lake in frustration won't be enough to kill it!
Another great feature is that it can record your finger print and all of your behavior, which aren't terrifyingly or absolutely terrible ideas at all! Look for this worse-than-ever, old-is-the-new-new iPhone clone in May!"